This week has shifted into a different type of challenge. Once my body adjusted to waking up early and moving around a hot box for 1.5 hours, I began dealing with deep rooted issues. I may or may not be alone with this experience but Bikram Yoga is difficult in more ways than I had expected.
Here are some highlights of what Day 9 through 19 looked like.
Emotional outpour. My body is not the only thing getting an intense detox, any feelings that have been sitting deep within are gushing out. It’s not a pleasant experience, but it’s better out than in.
Strength and endurance. I tested myself today. After a 90 minute class I hiked for two hours with a dear friend of mine. I don’t regret making time for her, but I’m sure it wasn’t the smartest choice.
Being ambitious is one thing, exhausting yourself is another. I have to remember that.
Strength. There was no need for me to rest in class (a big win for me) but I was off balance. A lot of emotions surfaced–it’s affecting me.
I needed to rest, twice, in class because I had severe lightheadedness during Standing Bow. After two days of not needing any rest I assumed it would stay that way. I was wrong.
Im fascinated by the parallels this practice has to my life. I love being able to compare and dissect. It helps me understand this world a little better. I believe every experience we go through helps us, we just have to be open to seeing it. One day we’re strong and on top of the world, the next we feel defeated and incapable.
Day 13-Day 19
These particular days proved almost too difficult to bear. No one said my life would be smooth in every other area outside of this challenge. I was hit with an overload of battles in my relationship and having a heavy heart because it seems like every week someone is asking for prayer over cancer. Really? How many more? My heart breaks.
So, in these days much has surfaced, much has been dealt with and much has been learned. What I want to say to you is keep going. No matter what gets in the way do the best you can in this moment, in this day you have been given.
I’d like to leave you with this; on Day 14, my half way mark, I couldn’t hold back tears during Savasana, Dead Body Pose. I felt so broken, so weak. I wanted the class to end, I wanted to crawl in bed and hide, but I made a choice to stay committed. I made a choice to follow through on what I said I’d do. I just couldn’t let the downs of life beat me, I know too well what it’s like to spiral so deep you don’t know how it’s even possible to get out. So whenever I can manage the strength to keep going and hold on, I tighten my grip. And, I pray you can find that same strength no matter what you’re going through in life.