Balance

Not sure where I should begin. All I’m sure about is writing until I figure it out. I tend to be a perfectionist, trying to map out the best way to do something. It prevents me from flowing, freely. It holds me back. It also applies to my day to day life. I have this idea of how my life should look. If I don’t get something done today, that was on my list, I’m ruined! Okay, I’m exaggerating. If I don’t get something done, that was on my list, I feel incomplete…Yep, there it is. Incomplete, but why? I’ve been conditioned into thinking that more is better. If someone asks me, “What’d you do today?” and my reply is, “Well, I went to an audition, wrote, did laundry, went to a meeting, spent an hour at the gym, went to lunch with a friend, caught that new movie, played my guitar and cooked,” I feel accomplished. If my reply was, “I rested and had a nice talk with my mom,” it’s not enough. Why? Again, I’ve been conditioned.


I struggle with balance in my life. Filling my days with things that bring me joy and push me forward is a great way to live, but I can get caught up checking off a list instead of being fully present. I’m trying to enjoy the little things; like, a day of rest, a solo hike up a canyon or coffee with a friend. There is beauty in simplicity.

Earlier today I drove a dear friend of mine to Hollywood. He needed to run an errand, but doesn’t have a vehicle. Anyhow, this simple car ride became a huge crossroad for me. Our conversation was profound and enlightening. A moment I knew was coming, but had no idea when; until I was in it. Everything made sense.

I have a few weaknesses I struggle with. Recently, I’ve been telling God “I’ve got this.” I don’t “got this.” I can’t look temptation in the face and win. I can’t do it on own strength, in the flesh. My eyes filled with tears as I spoke this truth to him. Hearing these words flutter out of my mouth woke me up. Knowing very well I’ve been living in sin and trying to justify it. Knowing better and doing the opposite. It hurts to look deep within yourself and see all the ways you fall short. These are divine moments that will shape you. A crystal clear picture of my next move. Do I humble myself and fall flat on my face or grab onto my pride and pretend I didn’t have this moment of truth?

My friend, Ramses, and I closed our time together with a prayer. I grabbed his hand, we bowed our heads and gave it all to Christ. This simple time together was all I needed. This brings me to the importance of having an accountability partner.

Accountability Partner– is a person who coaches another person in terms of helping the other person keep a commitment.

I am a disciplined individual, but need the help and support of others. Growing up I had my family to keep me in check. Once I had freedom I realized I could do whatever I wanted. This was dangerous territory. I thought I could take on the world all by myself. I quickly realized how weak I was. Without a solid support system this was going to be hard.

A great relationship with my mother has helped me. We talk once or twice a day; and, although I want to strangle her from time to time she is one of the greatest people in my life. Our talks keep me humble and teach my patience. What mother doesn’t teach us that?

There are other people in my life who help me deal with more deep seeded struggles and issues. One day I’ll share my ugly. Having the courage to put it on a platter for all to see and judge is a scary thought. But, knowing it can impact and influence a life of someone going through the same difficulties and help them, is totally worth it. I’m willing to shine light on my flaws to help those in need.

Where you can find an accountability partner:

FAMILY

This is where it all starts. Being raised with people who love you and only want the best for you is a blessing. It will start you with a solid foundation. Unfortunately, some of you didn’t or don’t have this. No worries, this world is filled with wonderful people who are willing to help and guide you down the right path. Cling to that hope.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER

These are the people who really know us. The ones we open up to and share those skeletons with. Having a partner that is understanding and nonjudgmental is what you need. Some people can be cruel and turn our flaws and weaknesses against us, crippling us. If you have the strength, get out of that-now! The person you choose to build and grow with should compliment you. They should lift you up and help you, not break you down.

FRIENDS

Birds of a feather flock together. I know this rings true to some or maybe most; it hasn’t been the case, for me. I love surrounding myself with a diverse group of friends, people who will challenge and help me along the way. My only issue here, as a Christian, is getting advice about my walk with the Lord from non-believers. They are living in the flesh, I’m trying not to. This becomes a blurred line for me. This is where the next group comes to play.

CHRIST FOLLOWERS

Listen, not all people who proclaim to be Christian are walking the right path. We are all trying to figure this life out. I am not judging them, but I make sure the ones who are holding me accountable are more seasoned and advanced in their walk.

GROUPS

There are all sorts of accountability groups. You can find a group to keep you on track with writing, anger management, keeping a job, addictions, dieting, your relationship, your walk with the Lord, etc. Take a good look at yourself. What type of help do you need?

GOD 
 
I can’t believe I almost posted this without the mention of being accountable to God. There is no one else that knows you more. You can’t hide from Him. He sees it all; that understanding keeps me in check most of the time. I wish I could say all of the time, but I’d be lying.
All-in-all we need to surround ourselves with all types of people who will help us. Protect your circle and the people you let into your life and heart.

You may also like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *