Fasting is a whole new thought process for me. Food and I have a special bond; a connection that brings me continual happiness. The way chocolate makes my mouth water, the tender piece of a medium rare steak my teeth pierce into, the warm sip of cappuccino my body earns for; gone. All gone and it is one heck of a sacrifice!
A dear friend and I went for a hike dead in the afternoon. The sun slowly cooking through our skin; later leaving us with a golden tan. As we huffed and puffed, searching for shade, we came across a large tree shaped liked an open hand. I monkeyed my way up a branch, she leaned down by the trunk. Excitement filled her voice “Look! It’s a tiny door.”
The door, small enough to fit a GI Joe, was peculiar. Grass was glued to the sides, white paint gave it a vintage feel; my favorite thing about this door was the ladder made of sticks and brown strings attached to it. I quickly said, “It’s a doorway to another dimension”; because why not? I love allowing my imagination to run wild. Anyway, this led us to a conversation about fasting.
My friend, Marisol, told me she was reading the book of Daniel and feels the Lord is calling her to fast, but she hasn’t done it. So I offered my support, assuming it was a ONE day thing. Nope. Completely wrong. Ten days of only fruits, vegetables and water. I didn’t want to do this fast. I wasn’t the one God was calling! Boy, was I wrong.
The past few weeks, leading up to this moment had been difficult for me. I was falling into depression. My agency wants me to lose more weight, I haven’t booked a gig in months and I have no idea what I should be doing. The pressures of turning thirty are real. I absolutely love the wisdom that comes with age, for most of us. I just didn’t realize how much my own biological clock was ticking. Comparing my life to others and what mine should look like. Sin was taking a hold of me. It was getting a little out of control for my own standards.
I am seven days into my fast and I feel renewed. This time has allowed me to lean on Him. My flesh was depleted of energy the first three days, but my Spirit is strong. Instead of satisfying my flesh, I’m satisfying my Spirit. It’s been difficult being surrounded by cakes, cheese, bread, seafood and the like has been rough. The temptation is strong. But, I feel light. I’m stronger than ever and am learning an incredible amount of discipline.
The Lord has a wonderful sense of humor. There was a thought that crept into my mind yesterday, fasting for twenty-one days. Now this seems crazy to me. I don’t want to do it! I might not. This is something I need to pray about. Plus, I might wilt away at this rate. God will reveal it in time.
God is speaking to each and every one of us all of the time. We need to learn how to hear His voice and be obedient. This means doing things we might not like; like not eating that fabulous chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a warm chocolate center. The struggle is real.