My eyes opened, the sky was on fire. The plane leaned to the left, revealing a bright yellow sun rising over the horizon. I drift in an out. Has this all been some miraculous dream? Did I just travel to sixteen countries in seventy-six days, walking hundreds of miles, meeting countless people, creating priceless memories?
There’s a burning desire in my heart to keep going, to keep exploring. I want to walk out of this airport into the streets of Moscow. Continuing this wild journey where I can come and go as I please, seizing every opportunity. Nothing holding me back, only a pull forward-to the unknown. Seeing it all unravel before my eyes. Seeing the beauty this life has to offer.
I have no home. No place to call my own, nothing tying me down. It is so liberating to have this kind of freedom. Should I go back? Do I need to? What are my options? My mind runs wild with possibilities. A life full of adventure is what I crave. I could taste it in my mouth, at the tip of my tongue.
In just a few hours I will be back in the city that help shape and mold me into the person I am today. The Big Apple, where I spent hours looking out of subway windows daydreaming about the life I’m currently living. I am no longer striving to be heard, to be seen. I now lift up my voice with these words, revealing to you a piece of my heart and soul. I am no longer afraid.
Being a woman of God has strengthened me. He has given me the courage to truly live. To take advantage of all He has to offer. He has taken me out of the dark. That dark, cold place I chose to submerge my life in. An unfruitful life. A life where I called all the shots and suffered the consequences. I thought I was untouchable until I was torn down. Bare bones. My flesh exposed. My sinful nature. I now walk tall because my Savior carries me high. No matter how much I stumble and fall He is there to pick me up. He stretches out His hand. I am not worthy, I am rotten to the core. Through His grace I am saved. Through His grace I am here! I am filled.
I now know to never purchase a return ticket on a trip like this. I’m not ready to go back to the States. I want to keep going. What’s done is done and I trust this is how it’s supposed to be. It’s not always about “what I want.” I know The Lord has a plan and will place me where He needs me. So, although I don’t want to go, I must. It is time. Time to close this book, literally. Three pages to go in my journal and I will have officially written an entire book in two and a half months.
I’m ready! Let’s do this New York..